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I am not Proud of it, but I am not Going to Lie

Marriage was hard, burdensome, unfair, resentful, a chore, and it felt like I just had another kid to take care of 

I constantly asked myself, why did I do this to myself again (I am divorced and remarried) 

It didn’t help that I had religious leaders telling me that happiness in marriage comes from love, lifting one another up, and being selfless… 

I wanted a marriage like their’s 

But I wasn’t the problem, my husband was and based on our many conversations he wasn’t going to change his selfishness 

So, what could I do to be happy if he wasn’t going to change? 

I started by working on me: 

by taking full responsibility for my own needs and happiness 

by making sure I was showing up as the wife I wanted to be regardless of how he was acting 

by hyper focusing on the good in him, instead of the negative 

Over time, I was able to stop feeling like the victim of my marriage and become the hero of my life 

I changed the story of my marriage from, I don’t have a partner…to, I have the perfect partner for me 

While looking at all my different thoughts about my husband with neutrality, I was able to see 

I was the one creating my resentment 

I was the one not being a partner by withholding my love and not including him 

I was the one expecting my husband to satisfy all my needs, but unwilling to satisfy many of his 

I was the one treating our marriage more like a transaction than a partnership 

These are hard truths, but were so necessary for me to see in order to save my marriage 

And as I worked on loving myself and becoming the partner that I wanted to be and the partner I wanted to have…I realized he didn't need to change at all

But guess what...without even asking, he began to change too 

Everything I wanted was becoming a reality 

Marriage has become easier, more loving, fulfilling, equal, light, and a partnership 

That doesn’t mean there isn’t still hard things; we are human and have emotions and make mistakes 

But there is no longer the judgment and frustration of feeling like, this sucks! 

If we want change, we have to start with ourselves first… 

Get my FREE 5 Step Process to Start Loving Your Life 

Join me for a free consultation. It gives you the benefit of a neutral 3rd party perspective and helps you become clear on where you are, where you want to be, and actionable steps to get there…spots are limited, so don’t wait 

Click on the link below to purchase my self-paced 5 module course with worksheets that will help you learn to Make Your Brain Work For You   

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